Lets talk body positivity…
Growing up, I hated the way my body looked.. You see, I had relatives who came around and would speak in my native Nigerian language (Ijaw) about how for lack for a better word I would grow up to be ‘shapeless’. They compared my body to my sister’s. At a young age, you could tell my sister would grow to have a big butt. They had no idea I could understand every word that was being said about me. I carried those words with me into adulthood. Those negative remarks about my body hurt me for a very long time. As you can see from some of the pictures above, I eventually grew a butt lol. Over the years, my confidence has grown and you cannot tell me anything about my body that will make me feel insecure. If I could say anything to the eight year old me who heard those disparaging words, I will tell her ‘Hold your head high, you are beautiful just the way you are’.
In Nigeria, a woman is considered beautiful if she has hips and a massive butt. Some ignorant people go as far as mocking young girls and women who are very thin and do not necessary fit into the ‘perfect body’ aesthetic.
In today’s world, we all see how a lot of young and older women go under the knife to get the perfect body. The small waist, big boobs and massive butt is the new craze. For anyone currently considering cosmetic surgery, and you are sure it will make you happy, please go ahead and do it. I would never judge anyone for going under the knife, its your body and your choice. I’d say do your research and choose your hospital and surgeon wisely, there are too many cosmetic surgery horror stories.
As a mum to two boys, I can confidently tell you childbirth takes a toll on your body, the scars from a cesarean section, the tear in the vagina during vaginal delivery, the stretch marks, loose skin around your tummy and boobs and the weight gain can dampen your spirit, if you let it. I can understand a woman wanting to get the ‘mummy makeover’ (Cosmetic Surgery). Some women are fortunate to not have stretch marks or even loose skin or have bodies that bounce back to their pre-pregnancy body size without doing anything. These women are in the minority though.
I say all this to tell anyone reading this that, its OK to feel insecure about certain parts of your body. No one is perfect, there is no such thing as the perfect body, do not be fooled by what you see online, its either a cosmetically enhanced body, Photoshop or both. Remember, everyone shows you or posts the best version of themselves online. I personally wear clothes that accentuates the best parts of my body. We all have parts of our bodies, that make us feel insecure. Nothing beats self love, the kind of love sees your flaws as your best features.
Here are a few tips that has worked for me:
1. I go for a run five days a week.
2. Keep a healthy lifestyle, drink lots of water and eat in moderation. I enjoy my eight hours sleep, my toddler wakes up early so I try to sleep early.
3. Surround yourself with people (Friends & Family) who bring out the best in you and make you happy. Bear in mind, your happiness is in your hands, only you can truly make yourself happy.
4. Learn a new skill like cooking, baking, playing the piano, learn to swim, read books and develop yourself.
5. If you ever feel sad about your body, listen to Keri Hilson’s ‘Pretty Girls Rock’ song and it will lift your spirit. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, how beautiful you are.. You are one of a kind, beautifully and wonderfully made..
Remember, beauty fades and we should raise our kids regardless of gender to focus on their inner beauty. After all, a great personality is more attractive than looks. Let’s all use our words to build and uplift others and not pull or tear people down.
Remember.. To stay safe and stay woke..
This post was featured on Links à la Mode fashion roundup by Independent Fashion Bloggers.
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Photo Credit: Studio Photo Design
